Funeral Etiquette
Guidance for Attending Services
Many of us are unsure about what encouraging words to say to the family or how to interact and respond to their feelings of sorrow. Knowing a few funeral etiquette rules can help anyone be more comfortable in both a funeral and visitation setting.
When Should I Visit?
Once you learn of someone's death, visiting the family at their home is appropriate, but the funeral home is the best place to visit with family members and offer your condolences.
For anyone wanting to visit and offer assistance to the family before services are held, these actions can provide additional comfort.
Offering to bring food, household necessities, assist with childcare and handle any errands or chores are a few of the things you can do to assist the grieving family.
What Should I Say?
This is the most common question asked by someone wanting to pay their respects.
While no words can adequately express the depth of a loss, offering a few kind words to the family of the deceased lets them know you care.
Try to avoid airing your grievances or saying the deceased is in a better place now.
Words of Comfort
Helpful Phrases
- "I'm so sorry for your loss."
- "They will be greatly missed."
- "I'm here for you if you need anything."
- "I have such wonderful memories of [name]."
- Simply offer a hug or hold their hand
Phrases to Avoid
- "They're in a better place now."
- "I know how you feel."
- "At least they lived a long life."
- "Everything happens for a reason."
- "You need to be strong."
Other Ways to Show Support
- Send flowers or a sympathy card
- Make a donation in the deceased's name
- Bring food to the family's home
- Offer to help with specific tasks
- Follow up in the weeks after the service